Lessons I learned from Tyler Perry's Acrimony Movie!

The first time I watched Tyler Perry's Acrimony, I was so mad at Robert. I was so annoyed, to tears, for Melinda. “She didn't deserve this”, I thought, but then I watched the movie four times after, and my perspective changed. I finally understood Robert, and why he did what he did.

Let’s talk about it…

We all know Melinda was sick right? During therapy her therapist said she had borderline personality disorder... She was suffering from several mental health diseases throughout the movie. From the beginning she had resentment in her. From school she felt like she wasn't smart enough, she felt like she couldn't please her mother because she couldn't be as good as her sisters. She had a lot of held-in resentment...

She easily fell for Robert in the beginning because he created an illusion of worthiness to her. Every time she helped him, it made her feel worthy, like she was being "relevant" in a way that she had never known. You notice that Robert never asked her for anything? She made the suggestions to help him and she did. She thought the void was being filled but instead she was wrecking her emotions more because she had all this expectations from Robert that she needed to have from herself.

When they started living together, she would see him on the bed sleeping when she had to do three jobs, and she would be angry, but she would just keep building it up inside... She never expressed the anger... Again, instead of healing, she was hurting herself more...

The movie was narrated by her, from her perspective so we see her own side of things, but I bet Robert has his own perspective to the story, that's why I need a part two, with him narrating😂but I doubt if Tyler Perry would give that to me😩

Anyways…

The first time I watched the movie, I was angry at Robert for not going back to Melinda when he got rich, but after watching a couple of other times, I think Robert just ended up making peace with the fact that he couldn't be with her, despite the fact that he loved her irrevocably. I think he understood that she got tired of him and perhaps he could never be who she wanted. 🤷‍♀️

That's why he came back to her with a heavy cheque and her mom's house etc, just to prove to her that he appreciates the financial investment she made on him, is paying her back for it over ten fold and wishes her the best life. At this point I think he had accepted that she didn't want him as a lover anymore... 🤷‍♀️

Some lessons to learn:

-In a relationship, don't hold back feelings(anger, resentment etc), express it.

-Be careful who you take advice from, concerning relationship matters. If their relationship is not healthy, they won't give you advice that would make yours healthy. Melinda's eldest sister who hated Robert from Day one was dealing with a cheating husband who even had a child out of marriage, and she was projecting her frustration on her younger sister's relationship instead of facing her own.

Melinda's best friend who was the only one who supported her relationship from Day one, was the only person who gave her "the right advice" according to the script. I think that's because she was open to it from the beginning so she could see in and through it.

Don't take relationship advice from somebody who doesn't like your partner. If they cannot at least appreciate them, because you love them, then don't listen to them on matters concerning that partner, because everything they say would be to prove that they were right for not liking them in the first place. Only a few people are emotionally intelligent enough to be able to separate emotions from objectivity, especially when it concerns people they don't like.

-Know your worth in relationships and in business. Robert knew his battery was worth more than the 800, 000USD that they proposed to him in the beginning, and it worked out for him.

-If Melinda knew how worthy she was as a person, and how worthy she was in the eyes of Robert, she would not have believed that he was cheating just because of a purse. Her confidence would have told her that there was more to the story and that would have sparked curiosity in her to know what the story was, from Robert's mouth. Not her sister's.

-No matter the confrontation in a relationship, don't assume anything, listen to your partner. Hear their own side of the story. Melinda NEVER allowed Robert to explain the purse situation to her. She never gave him a chance. At home, in front of her family, and in the court room, doesn't count, because there were other people in the room. Her emotions were influenced. Whereas if they had a one on one, I am sure she would have believed him, because deep down, she knew who he was and she knew he couldn't be cheating after what happened the last time he did.

-In business/career you cannot put energy, love, time, resilience, effort, everything... into something you believe in and it doesn't work out for you. It would work out. Unfortunately many people give up before it works out. Robert and his battery, are proof😊

-There are some people who come into your life, and believe in you relentlessly, so much so that they invest in your dream the best way they can, and your life just becomes better because they are in it. Robert's second wife is evidence of this.

-When your sexually active man, stops indulging sex with you, it’s not always because he’s getting it from somewhere else. It could be because he is not content with his life at the moment, or he is focusing on something that matters deeply to him, like fulfilling a lifelong dream. Melinda thought Robert was cheating on her because he hadn’t touched her for months, meanwhile he was just not content with his life at that moment, and all his energy and focus was on selling his battery.